Itsy Bitsy
by LediShae
Summary: The day after yet another battle starts with a bright morning - and a scream.


_Blackmail Log – Day 564_

The ark was calm this morning, everyone in good cheer despite Prime, Brawn, Windcharger and Trailbreaker on light duty after yesterday's battle. Their wounds were minor, and Ratchet was actually in a good mood during changeover. Only Tracks and Inferno had to stay overnight for observation. The weapon of impending doom had been destroyed easily enough. Prowl was certain we had a good week of reprieve.

That was yesterday. Today, 0635, a bellow of sheer terror vibrated the Ark. Everyone in the rec room rushed to Prime's office – who else could nearly cause an earthquake with their voice alone? But, Prime was rushing out of his office with Prowl and Jazz at his heels to see who in the rec room had been hurt.

Well, that was interesting. Prime split us into groups Sides went to check on the egg heads, maybe Sky Fire had dropped a welding torch on his foot – or maybe Jack did it for him. Sides was laughing as he left with his group. Prime led the rest of us down to the romper room.

"Us Dinobots hear roar like me Grimlock, but me Grimlock never afraid." The towering black Dinobot commander had been adamant – as had Silverbolt, _and_ Hot Spot that none of their crews were in any ways damaged.

Now visibly concerned and our group nearly tripled in size, I contacted Sideswipe, with the same response. The eggheads were all fine, if a bit concerned. The mini-bots were intact, medbay was serene, and all human visitors had been kicked out before the last battle.

"Well, then who does that leave?" Jazz asked of the groups out loud and over the comms. The flurry of pings telling who had been accounted for left one glaring hole in our roster: Red Alert and –

"Red Alert to Prime, there is a possible Decepticon invader in the armory with Ironhide."

We all looked to each other blankly as the strangeness of the situation finally made sense. Ironhide _should_ have been the first to come investigate the strange bellow but he had yet to show his faceplates. Our confusion lasted less than an astrosecond and we were off, the entire Ark, save those still in medical racing to the Ironhide's position. Several of our group peeled off along the way to stand guard at every entrance in a silent lock down.

Whatever was in the armory would not get past us.

"It's 'bout time ya slaggin' igits got here!" Ironhide bellowed from his – perch – on top of a weapons rack. "Get that thing outta mah armory!" The last was spoken more as a wail than a bark of command.

"What thing, Ironhide?" Prime asked carefully as he inched around the perimeter of the room. Then, his optics locked on a spot in the middle of the room, gaze so intent we all looked to see if the deck plating would spontaneously melt.

Instead Prime _shrieked –_ sounding much like Carly had when Spike had tossed her into a cold swimming pool last summer – and froze in place so petrified of the hideous thing he saw that he could not even cycle his vents.

Now, normally, we're brave when needed. Prime asks us to brave a Decepticon firefight with only our hands and Primus' blessing and we'll do it without thinking. But, Prime – _Optimus_ was terrified. Our commander had never shown hate, fear, dread, despair or any other emotion that might – even one tiny iota – influence his troops.

We didn't need orders, or permission, Sideswipe and I know our duty. We moved on silent pedes around the room as Prime had, with Ratchet in my wake. We would move in on the invisible enemy and Ratchet would take care of our commanders.

_:: Do you see what I see?:: _Sideswipe asked blankly, optics blinking in stunned disbelief.

I could only nod in mounting resignation bordering on despair. _This_ terrified Ironhide and made Optimus scream like a human femme?

Sideswipe knelt, scooping the offender into an empty cup – why he had a human sized cup in his subspace I never want to find out – and stood turning to face our commanders who as one whimpered and pressed themselves back against the wall, still terrified of the tiny figure that huddled against the side of the four inch high glass in my brother's hand. The tiny figure that would have been dwarfed by one of those peas humans were so fond of.

"Thank you Sideswipe – now get it out of here." Ratchet barked in disgust as Ironhide whimpered and Prime shuttered his optics tight.

As we moved towards the others they all clustered closer to Sideswipe – and gave me a wide berth – I smirked at this and at their faces. As one realization of what my brother held in that pathetically small human juice glass really was, and as one they looked past us to our commanders in disbelief.

"They're afraid of one tiny spider?" Bluestreak asked.

Bumblebee shook his head in sad disbelief, "Spike calls it Arachnophobia."


End file.
